Part 1 here
Part 2 here
Finally, inevitably someone will inquire about the size of the house a large family lives in, as if that should be a major deciding factor. This is a thinking that I can sympathize with, because I, too, used to think that big family = big house, simply by necessity. However, over the years as I have talked to other large family moms, I have noticed that besides medium-sized families in average sized homes, there are pretty much two extremes: large families in small homes, and small families in large homes.
I don't think this is a coincidence - people are choosing to have either a big house, or a big family. At approx. 1550 sq ft, our house is definitely considered on the small side for a family our size, at least by today's standards (4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, plus dining/school room, kitchen, living room, no garage, but two good-sized sheds). Even just a hundred years ago, however, our house would have been considered a mansion, and that even long before indoor plumbing and heating/air conditioning were standard conveniences. No, judging by most of history, and even the vast majority of the world today, we live in the lap of luxury. There are those who suppose that "gain is godliness," so to them, bigger equals better, but I think just the opposite is true.
By virtue of the fact that there are many of us living under the same roof, and that the bedrooms are - well, bedrooms for sleeping in and not for children holing up in by themselves, we have grown very close as a family. Games and activities take place in common areas like the kitchen or living room. For better or for worse, we are around one another much of the day, and it really does change who you are as a person. For the better, I like to think, as selfishness is the one thing we simply don't have room for in our house.
You see, it doesn't take much room to find sleeping quarters for 11 people. We will not need to bust out the shoe horn to squeeze this new wee one in. No, the thing that eats up space is stuff. We would all do well to have a lot less stuff, and a whole lot more time spent with one another. There are authors making lots of money writing books about how to cut down on all the clutter and things, which just add mental baggage and stress, not peace and prosperity. Less truly is more!
Part 2 here
Finally, inevitably someone will inquire about the size of the house a large family lives in, as if that should be a major deciding factor. This is a thinking that I can sympathize with, because I, too, used to think that big family = big house, simply by necessity. However, over the years as I have talked to other large family moms, I have noticed that besides medium-sized families in average sized homes, there are pretty much two extremes: large families in small homes, and small families in large homes.
I don't think this is a coincidence - people are choosing to have either a big house, or a big family. At approx. 1550 sq ft, our house is definitely considered on the small side for a family our size, at least by today's standards (4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, plus dining/school room, kitchen, living room, no garage, but two good-sized sheds). Even just a hundred years ago, however, our house would have been considered a mansion, and that even long before indoor plumbing and heating/air conditioning were standard conveniences. No, judging by most of history, and even the vast majority of the world today, we live in the lap of luxury. There are those who suppose that "gain is godliness," so to them, bigger equals better, but I think just the opposite is true.
By virtue of the fact that there are many of us living under the same roof, and that the bedrooms are - well, bedrooms for sleeping in and not for children holing up in by themselves, we have grown very close as a family. Games and activities take place in common areas like the kitchen or living room. For better or for worse, we are around one another much of the day, and it really does change who you are as a person. For the better, I like to think, as selfishness is the one thing we simply don't have room for in our house.
You see, it doesn't take much room to find sleeping quarters for 11 people. We will not need to bust out the shoe horn to squeeze this new wee one in. No, the thing that eats up space is stuff. We would all do well to have a lot less stuff, and a whole lot more time spent with one another. There are authors making lots of money writing books about how to cut down on all the clutter and things, which just add mental baggage and stress, not peace and prosperity. Less truly is more!
For
now, we will simply lengthen our cords, and
strengthen our stakes. Since my morning sickness has up and left for good a couple of weeks ago (YAY!), I have been working like a crazy woman at radically simplifying our lives by getting rid of things we neither use, care about, or would ever miss. Having lived in the same house for a decade, there has been plenty of time for things to accumulate that we really don't need. I have been nothing short of ruthless, getting rid of anything none of us were excited about (okay, the youngest ones' opinions don't count, as they would like to hoard even outright garbage). My goal is to downsize by about 50% or more overall, but in areas like clothing and toys, more like 80%. We have filled dozens of lawn bags with things to be thrown away, have donated many, many boxes of things and have sold others online, and still have an entire room full of stuff to be sold at an upcoming yard sale. And honestly, none of us is missing any of the things we got rid of. In fact, the backbreaking and allergy-inducing work aside, this project has been very satisfying and liberating. The big boys and girls are fully on board, motivated and helping, as they, too, understand the benefits of living more minimally, and actually having time to play with the few things they care about, rather than spending all their free time being curators of a toy museum of items they don't really use. Also, they cannot wait for the de-cluttering to be done so we can switch around the bedrooms.
The three girls will move into the current boys' room, which has a beautiful triple bunk bed in it, and even has a toddler bed under the loft part for a possible future sister (the toddler bed is now where the little bookcase and dresser were in the above pic). Us parents will move our bedroom into the former girls room, which will open up the largest room in the house, currently my bed room, for the boys. All five of them will be moving in there. To that end, we will commission the same carpenter who made the triple bunk bed to make a quadruple bunk bed (twin over full, and twin over twin, in an L-shape), and will also add a toddler bed for Boaz for now. This can later be upgraded to another bunk bed (twin over full) if the boys keep outnumbering the girls. That configuration provides ample sleeping room for as many as 13 children in all, a number we are still very far from, and may never even reach. Our fourth bedroom has a guest bed in it and also doubles as the office, so we won't count that.
The triple bunk bed in what used to be the boys' room. Yes, we usually always have sheets on our bed, not sure why we posed for pics without them.
The three girls will move into the current boys' room, which has a beautiful triple bunk bed in it, and even has a toddler bed under the loft part for a possible future sister (the toddler bed is now where the little bookcase and dresser were in the above pic). Us parents will move our bedroom into the former girls room, which will open up the largest room in the house, currently my bed room, for the boys. All five of them will be moving in there. To that end, we will commission the same carpenter who made the triple bunk bed to make a quadruple bunk bed (twin over full, and twin over twin, in an L-shape), and will also add a toddler bed for Boaz for now. This can later be upgraded to another bunk bed (twin over full) if the boys keep outnumbering the girls. That configuration provides ample sleeping room for as many as 13 children in all, a number we are still very far from, and may never even reach. Our fourth bedroom has a guest bed in it and also doubles as the office, so we won't count that.
The new quad bunk will be similar to this, except that the sides will be reversed, and one of the beds in the bottom will be full size, not twin.
Years
ago, I thought that surely,
eventually we would have to move to a bigger house. But now, as our
family has grown, and even though we are in a position to move if we
wanted to, I no longer want to move. Five of our children were
born in this house, and if I can, I would like to grow old here and have all those memories to cherish still. We like
our neighbors, we like our neighborhood, we like our pool and yard, we
like being close to church and the city, we like that our church started
in this house. When the kids are grown and
gone, this house will be HUGE for us, and we will have so many wonderful
memories here. The kids will love bringing their own children over to their
childhood home. No, if we can make do where we are, we gladly will. We
will live smarter, not larger.
And while those who don't know better feel sorry for our kids that they share
bedrooms, the kids will go to sleep whispering and telling stories, scheming, making
priceless memories, and growing closer each day. To them, it's like summer camp every day.
We all make our choices - this is ours. We love our kids far more than worldly possessions, and are thrilled to have been blessed with another one on the way.
We all make our choices - this is ours. We love our kids far more than worldly possessions, and are thrilled to have been blessed with another one on the way.