You sure have your hands full!

Does it bother you when you get that comment in public? It sure bugs me. You just never know what to say because yes, your hands probably are full holding a baby, pushing a grocery cart loaded to the brim, having to lug a purse the size of Texas, or whatever the case may be. But if you say "Well yes, they are" it is understood that you mean you don't want your hands to be full. If you say "No, they are not" it's probably not true, or the other person will think it's not really true.

Sometimes I just smile and don't say anything, and then people will try to fill the void by saying something positive like "... but that's a good thing." Other times I smile and say, "Yes, but I don't mind." Still, the comment bothers me, and maybe it shouldn't.

Here is a list of some funny comebacks I found on the internet for those of you who are more confrontational than me. At least I can daydream about using one of them in the future.

You have your hands full!

• Yes, happily so!
• Yes, and my heart too.
• Don't say anything, just look puzzled at your hands. (This does obviously not work if you are carrying a baby :-)
• Yes, but I would rather have my hands full than empty!

Are they all yours?

• No, this is not all of them, my oldest is at home with the triplets.
• No, a couple of them started following us a few minutes ago.
• No, I picked up a couple extra in the produce aisle.
• Wow, I never heard that question before!
• Of course they're all mine. Do you think I take six (or fill in your number) kids shopping for fun?
• YES!
• Yes, they are all ours. We have been married for 22 years, but only have 11 kids to show for it.
• No..........I have two more at home! (When it fits)
• Yes, and they're such good kids!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (the kids love that one!)
• Of course they are..wait..who is that one?Hes not ours.....oh,yeah,#5,I forgot I had him.
• I don't know. How many do you count?
• Yes, and this one (pointed to my belly) is too.
• No. I've been an avid collector for years and just picked these up in the food court!

Are you going to have more?

• Why do you want to know?
• Well, not today.
• We are trying to get into the Guinness Book of World Records of (add whatever here) most kids, largest family living in one house, etc.
• Yes, I always want just one more.
• Well, we do have a twelve passenger van.
• Check back in nine months and you'll see for yourself.

Don't you know what causes that?

• No, please tell me!
• Of course, don't you?
• Oh yes, we finally figured it out and we now keep the tooth brushes in seperate glasses!
• It's in the water. Would you like a glass?
• Yes and I know WHO causes it! God gave us these children!

Are you going to get fixed?

• Nope, I am not broken!
• Why do you want to know?
• Huh, we thought everything was working fine for us!?!
• We didn't know anything was broken.
• Don't you only fix things that aren't working properly?
• Well as you can see be the size of OUR family everything is in working order. :)(You have to say this last one with the kinda "I'm not to bright so your question seems kinda foolish don't you think?" attitude.

I can't believe how you do it, I cannot even handle my two!

• Yes, if I had kids like you, I wouldn't have any more either!
• Yes, you don't strike me as the type who could handle more kids than that.
• I put knobs on the kids. Makes them easier to handle.
• With lots of patience, patience, patience
• Go and look at them while they're sleeping. This reminds me of what sweet children of God they are and keeps me going!
• Oh, I just do it. Wake up in the morning, do what you have to do all day, go to bed when it's done.
• Oh, straight jackets and handcuffs!

Are you planning to have any more?

• I've been wondering about this and maybe you can explain it to me: I always thought you had to plan NOT to have more.
• Before we were married we planned on having 2, but I didn't know that my husband couldn't count!
• We didn't plan the first six, I don't think we'll plan the next six, either.

I hope you aren't planning to have anymore?!?

• Talk to God about it... it's up to Him.
• Well, we do have room in our van for 2 more.
• OK, I won't plan my next one. Surprises can be fun!
• Yup we are going to keep going till we get an ugly one.

Haven't you heard of birth control?

• Yes, and I thank God it doesn't always work!
• Yes, I've heard of it, I hope you are using it!
• Yes, that's great stuff for people with ugly kids!
• Oh yes, we do know what birth control is; it's for people who don't want children.

Don't you have a television?

• No, it's much funner watching the kids.
• No, we have much better things to do than sit around a little box all day.
• Television? What is that?
  

How can you afford having so many?

• Lifestyles are expensive not kids.
• We're not on welfare, in huge amounts of debt, and no, my husband is not a doctor or lawyer. We just budget well.
• I figure you spend what you make, you may as well spend it on more.
• " You don't know my financial backer!" (Our God, of course)
• I'm still not sure how we do it...but it works!

Look at that double trouble! (for twins)

• No, they are double blessings!

I am glad it is you and not me!

• Yes, me too!
• My kids are glad it's me and not you too! ;-)
• Oh me too! I love being a mother! and smile real BIG!
  

When people just keep staring at your family....

• No, we're not Catholic. No, we're not Mormon.
• Yes, they all are mine!
• No, we don't try to overpopulate the earth, just to outnumber the idiots!